Play

As I delve into "Life Is Not A Stress Rehearsal" once again, I'm confronted with the concept of play. The old addage "All work and no play makes Paula a very dull girl" rings loud and clear. I have become that "all work" person ... and I sure do wish I remembered how to play.

I used to laugh a lot. I used not to have these "frown lines" between my eyebrows. I used to have a sense of humor about myself. I used to be a lot less uptight about how I respond to things ... letting myself go with my gut response instead of weighing EVERYTHING before I speak or act. Self-control is important, but I seem to try to take it to an impossible level. Disaster.

My husband married someone who knew how to have fun, and now I feel like he is stuck with a way-too-serious me. I remember a time about 15 years ago, when the teenagers were toddlers, that I forgot how to have fun. It lasted for a few years while the weight of motherhood and the new reality of single-mothering set in. But after a while, I learned how to laugh and play again. I wonder if it is just this period in my life (toddlerhood/preschool years all over again) that makes me more serious. It is such an awesome responsibility to raise a child, and the young ones are so dependent. In truth, however, no matter how serious I take parenting, I need to remember how to play and laugh.

There used to be times at least once or twice a week when I would laugh so hard that tears would stream down my face. I cry when I truly laugh. It makes the funny even more ridiculous. Right now, I can't remember the last time I relaxed enough to cry while I laughed. What a sad confession!

So ... I'll be mulling over what things I like to play. I can't remember. Each day, I'm going to try to play, if only for a few minutes, until it becomes natural again. It will take some reminding for me to break this habit of seriousness, and possibly some times of unnatural laughter to remember how to laugh spontaneously, but I'm determined to stop taking myself so seriously!