Hello Friends, I've moved!

Yes, we have physically moved. But I've also moved to a new blog. It seems that the time for Random Chaos and Clutter came to an end, and the time for new beginnings has finally arrived. Join me over at Walk.Think.Breathe. for more thoughts. They will be as random, I assure you, but possibly a little less chaotic and cluttered.

Hope to see you there.

Wonderful Blog Post on CHANGE

I just read a wonderful post on zenhabits on CHANGE.  Take a look.  I especially like his final thoughts about freedom from the fear of failure ... and this quote

‘Try again. Fail again. Fail better.’ ~Samuel Beckett

Happy Reading!

Breathe

The word of the day.

When it has been too much ... when sleep evades ... when the people are everywhere and solitude absent ... when I just need to stop for a few moments ... but when life continues on in its demanding way ...

I try to remember to just BREATHE.

 

Peaceful moments to you today.

Kicking the Q-Tip Habit

As I've been thinking about simplification, consumerism, consumption and green living, I've realized that there is a very small single-use item that I use everyday ... the Q-Tip.  Using Q-Tips is not going to fill the world's landfills. It isn't going to break the bank. I won't go thru withdrawal without them, or suffer physical harm if I use them or I don't (unless I'm the kind of wax pusher that doctors warn us about!). So what's the big deal?

Well, either I'm committed to all the baby steps leading to a sustainable, minimal carbon-footprint life or I'm not.  Seeing as I am ... Q-Tips.  I googled "green alternatives to Q-Tips" and found very little. No one seems too concerned. But I've been determined, and I've kicked the Q-Tip Habit!

A few facts (probably relevant only to me):

My little finger fits in my ear plenty far enough to take the place of a Q-Tip.

I only used Q-Tips because I wanted to dry my ears, not to "clean" them ... that happens in the shower!

Towels are too thick, when wrapped around my pinkie finger, to do the job.

However ... a cotton men's handkerchief is perfect!  So, there's my green alternative.  Using the size of a dime for each ear, it takes many days before I need to wash it. The hankie is small, and doesn't add to my laundry burden. It is soft cotton, which makes my ears happy.  And in my life, another single-use item bites the dust!

Okay, now is your chance to comment. I expect most of your thoughts to be about me having way too much time on my hands to think about irrelevant things! That's okay ... keeps me happy :-)

"You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die."

I think it was my granny who used to say this ... "You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die."  I always thought it was metaphorical, but maybe it has a literal application as well.  However, it is a bit hard to swallow in today's hyper-clean, germ phobic, civilized world. But what if our phobias about dirt and germs have robbed our children of developing a basic love for the stuff of this planet of ours?

Simple Mom posted a blog today about letting our kids get dirty!  Jump on over and check it out, and enjoy a playful, dirty-filled day!

And just in case you were wondering ... just how much is a peck anyway?  It is the dry measure of 2 gallons.  That's a lot of dirt!

The Dreaded SHOULD List

I would like all of us to live as fully as we can. The only time I really feel awful is when people have not lived a life that expressed themselves. They lived with all their "shoulds" and "oughts" and their blaming and placating and all the rest of it, and I think, "How sad.

Virginia Satir (1916 - 1988)

 

I came across this quote this evening, and thought ... yes, how sad.  The reality of a life lived according to the SHOULD list is sad. I'm guilty, how about you?

What are the things that creep into your life that place a SHOULD across the path of doing all that you wish to do, and being all you wish to be?  Where do all these SHOULDs come from?

I look back at the mountain of SHOULD, and at the base of it, I see the first little pebbles ... people pleasing ... fear of rejection ... running from the need to stand alone and stand strong ... wanting to be "normal" ... the list is long.  Then, upon that foundation  grew the long list of things that I SHOULD do in order to maintain a fragile peace around me.  Strange the sacrifices I will make to my heart's peace in order to orchestrate the false peace around me.

Have you shouted "NO MORE"?  I have.  Yet, it is a journey to growing back into the uniqueness I was born with.

The highest thing on my SHOULD list ... 

 

I should be able to do it all, better! 

 

Go ahead, say it ... psycho!  But it does seem to be the mantra to which I bow.  What's your greatest SHOULD? 

Let's go out on a limb and vow, together, to put aside our SHOULDs, just for today.

 

 

 

More wisdom from Virginia Satir ...

"I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay."

 

To that, I add ... Thank you, God, for making me just as I am!

Good Advice ... No Workaholics Here!

I ... am a workaholic.  There.  I've said it. 

No, I'm not a workaholic where my paid job is concerned.  I can draw boundaries there. But I'm an "at home" workaholic.  I can't ever sit still and relax without forcing myself to do it.  I ... am a human doing, not a human being!  Today, I came across a new article about 11 Creative Ways to Avoid Becoming a Workaholic.  The article addresses the workplace, but is SO applicable to my life.  Take a look, and tell me how you avoid overworking yourself during your "free" time.

A Wish List

Interesting fact about me … if you ask me what I would like to have, I can never think of anything. I’m rarely interested in stuff, and usually pretty content with what I have. Lately, however, I’ve realized that I do have a wish list. Problem is, the list contains things that are expensive. That’s why I never share the list when someone asks what I would like.

So here goes … my wish list. Maybe, after looking at it, you will add some of these wonderful products to your wish list. Maybe, after looking at it, you will wish you had never come across my blog because now you have a pricey wish list. Maybe …



1. Vita Mix

About a year ago, when reading one of my favorite blogs April's Raw Food Passion, I came across the Vita-Mixer. It seems that the best way to move away from processed food and into the world of raw food is to have a way to crush it, mix it, turn it into butter, or blend it into a delicious smoothy.

Doesn’t this picture just make you feel more healthy?  Vitamix


2. “Barefoot” shoes

Barefoot + Shoes = Feet as they were intended in a world full of man-made dangers. About 6 months ago, I saw these shoes via REI. Years of researching Yoga has shown me one thing for sure, your feet work at their best when your toes are not shoved into a small, sometimes pointy (if you’re a woman) prison. Set them free!

“To the man who clads his feet in shoe leather, the whole world feels like leather.” Taoist Proverb

For some interesting reading about a barefoot life … visit the economads

Until we live in a place where bare feet are permissible everywhere (like New Zealand!), the five fingers are the next best thing. Spread those toes!  Love those Five Finger Shoes.

Slate/Palm upper, if you please.


3. Goodbye to the Nasties

In our family, we have two water filters, both Brita. One is a large, counter-top container with a tap for our smaller family member, and one is attached to the kitchen faucet. Although the Brita does clean many of the impurities, I often wonder how well it really does. And what about the times when the water is really dirty (like stream water). We wouldn’t want to filter that through the Brita. And when you think about a weekend in the popup, or in a tent, the hand pump water purifier that David has seems like a lot of work for a little return.

This Big Berkey filter is gravity based, therefore not requiring electricity. It is portable … not exactly the type you would put in a backpack, but it would work for a longer family-camping outing. And it cleans out all the gunk! They have a filtering shower attachment as well. If I don’t want my family drinking it, I also don’t want them absorbing it through their skin.

Thanks to Sara for the introduction (Check it out on their counter in their rv home).


4. The Portable Read

I tend to be a bit of a book hound. I love to read, and often have 3 or 4 books going at the same time. Add an obsession with researching anything and everything on the internet, and I guess I’d have to admit that I love to learn. (That’s a bit of a shock for my parents, I bet!) The thing is, I can’t possibly carry all the books I’m reading at one time with me everywhere I go. Especially all the reference books, like a dictionary, concordance, and Bible Greek dictionary. There are all those lost moments when there is no one around to talk to, and I find myself waiting. All you taxi mom’s know exactly what I’m talking about. But I’m not always in the mood to read the book I thought to bring. Bummer. Solution ... The Kindle

Of course, I would want it loaded with all my favorites! Not asking for too much, is it?


5. Time for a Photo Shoot

This baby is not one I’ve researched enough to tell you exactly what I want. Suggestions? I’m tired of the point-and-click that delivers great pictures sometimes, and lousy ones at other times. Yes, I’ve learned to use the features. It just doesn’t like alternative lighting, fast movement, or close-ups … red-eye is always a problem.

Add to a great camera the latest and greatest Photo editor … voila! Camera happy me!


Wow … I don’t ask for much, do I? As I was making this list, I was thinking about photo storage, old home video storage, document organization, etc. The process of simplification means looking for better, more efficient ways to do old things. Leave any suggestions as a comment below. Your thoughts are appreciated.

And tell me ... what's on your wish list?

Meanwhile, I’m content, I’m dreaming, and I’m seeing the world again after a long time in the haze.

Simplify

Websters has this to say about the word SIMPLIFY

To make simple or simpler: as
a: to reduce to basic essentials
b: to diminish in scope or complixity

and of SIMPLE

1: free from guile: INNOCENT
2a: free from vanity: MODEST
2b: free from ostentation or display
...
6: free from elaboration

... or eLABORation (my thoughts)




We all seek a simpler life. Do you know anyone who has ever said, "Hey, can you think of a way to make my life more complicated? It is just too simple!" If so, don't tell them to read this. They won't understand.

The American Dream ... the American Nightmare. What does it involve?

Accumulation - of things, of responsibilities, of wealth
Stability - in work, in play, in friends, in things
Control - everything within control, or at least "controlled risk"
More - giving our kids more than we had, getting more ... better ... faster

Sometimes more is just more.

But what if we thought about the American Dream as it really is today. (A side note, I think that the original "American Dream" was wonderful. Make a safe, secure place for your family in a land of freedom and opportunity. That is, you have the freedom to be all that you ever dreamed you would be.) Since when does safety equate to total control? When did security come to mean accumulation of more than we can steward well? Why has opportunity turned into MORE MORE MORE? Since when is freedom the same as creating a small world that is never changing, if we can help it? Just seems like a burden of complixity to me.

So, we all talk about simplifying our lives. I've begun to take action.

First, no more accumulation. It is true that you tend to fill the space you have. Live in 300 sq feet, you will accumulate 350 sq feet of stuff. Move to a larger place ... more stuff. I was astounded when I realized the amount of energy I put into trying to find workable storage to decrease clutter and organize the stuff. I DON'T NEED BETTER ORGANIZATION, I NEED LESS STUFF! I believe that we take on responsibility for everything we acquire. If I buy a shirt, I take on the responsibility of keeping it clean, storing it properly, and wearing it, whether or not I actually like it. That's good stewardship. Think about it. Everything you own, even the stuff you never see because it is buried under all the stuff you see only because it is on the top of the pile. Yes, all that stuff is your responsibility. Does it bring convenience or pleasure to you? Does it enrich your life? My answer is a resounding NO! So, the downsizing begins. Change is in the wind.

I had a victory moment the other day. The space under our bed is empty, except for a small stool that I use to reach things in the closet (I'm a little reach impaired). Nothing else is under the bed. I didn't shove it under something else. I went through it, appropriately placed the important things, and got rid of the rest. Oh, and guess what I have in my closet ... only clothes that I wear. And on my side of the closet are ALL my clothes (all seasons). I don't have any clothes stored anywhere else. VICTORY #1.

I'm now on a quest. Take a 5 bedroom, 3 bath house full of enough stuff for an 8 bedroom 5 bath house, and downsize it to fit into a two bedroom apartment. Are we moving into a two bedroom apartment? I have no idea. But I want to be ready if we do.

Simplify ... it is the beginning of a journey.

Firsts and Lasts

I've been reflecting a lot lately on my teenage boys. I guess every mom goes thru this time of reflection as she comes to grips with the inevitable ... they will grow up and leave you. Bitter/sweet. During this time, I'm discovering once again the little boys they used to be.

As our kids are growing up, we are so consumed with the current state of things. We're driving them places, making sure they are prepared for every eventuality in the day (i.e. Don't forget you shoes for gym!), and generally enjoying knowing them in the moment. What has struck me lately had led me through a period of mourning (which I consider a good and healthy thing), but maybe not in the sense you think. Let me see if I can explain.

Our kids' lives are filled with the first times, and the last times. The thing is, we have lots of reminders of the firsts. Remember that first step? I bet you had the camera ready as I did (or at least you recreated the event a few moments later for posterity). How about that first night in a tent, or the first soccer game? Got it. First time carving a pumpkin? First time in Grandpa's arms? Got it. We have picture after picture, and revisit those "firsts" over and over again.

But what about the lasts? The last time he rode a tricycle? Did you get that on film? Remember how precious he was motoring around with knees up to his chin? Nope ... don't "Got it". How about the last time you picked him up? One day, he reaches the point where he walks everywhere by himself. Nope ... don't got that one either. The last time he held your hand to cross the street? Didn't we celebrate how grown up he had become when he could do it safely by himself. It is the job of parents to teach their kids everything they need to know to be happy, functioning, successful (however you define it) adults. But oh the sweetness of dependence.

Sometimes I see parents yelling at their young children. Parents are frustrated and tired ... the pressures of the American Dream. Children are undisciplined and demanding ... the lenience of today's parenting generation. And the parents are yelling their children into defiance. I want to walk over to them and reach them with the love that shows them that I understand their frustrations. I want to hug their kids and tell them they are wonderful just because they are, not because of any particular trait or accomplishment. Mostly, I want to tell Mom and Dad that one day, in the near future, a last will happen. They won't know it is the last. They won't see it coming, or realize the implications. But it will come. Something will come to an end, and one day they will mourn.

When I think of my two teenagers, I think about their little faces as they slept when they were young. Many of you understand that sensation of staring at your sleeping kids because it is the source of strength for making it through another day with them awake. Don't condemn me for that ... you know we've all done it! I would venture to say that we've been better parents for it! But one day, the face changes. You're no longer looking at your baby, but at your adolescent. Then it is your teenager. Then it is your adult child. You realize that the little guy, although encased in a grown-up body now, really doesn't exist anymore. You love the adult with a more complete love than you ever loved the little child, because your love has had time to grow and mature. But that little one is just a memory. I'm so grateful for the wonderful memories!

These are the meandering thoughts I have as I watch my teen yell at the top of his lungs that I have no right to try and control his life. Flashes of young faces fly thru my mind as I watch one run like the wind, or the other give the soccer game his all. Yes, I am so grateful for the memories.

If you are remembering too, be thankful as I am. If you are struggling not to be that yelling parent, pause to remember that this is all so very temporary. Aren't we blessed to be parents?!?

I feel the winds of change blowing …

"I feel the winds of change blowing". I've said that many times in my life. And each time, it was true ... change was coming. Was it coming and I felt it, or did I want it so I made it. Who knows. But I feel the winds of change blowing.

We are at an interesting juncture in life, that place where you are racing toward the "empty nest." Many have been there. You know it is a road traveled by every parent in every generation since Adam and Eve sent their young men out into the world. Well, we know how that turned out. None-the-less, here we go. The catch ... there's a little chirping sound coming from the nest, coming from the mouth of the next generation of children from our family. I truly feel like we have two generations of children, separate yet united as brothers. That's what happens when you have two teenagers and a 1st grader. The winds of change ...

Then there's the dream of a different life. I don't want to seem to be trying to get the older two out the door. Honestly, I'm not sure how you breathe when a big piece of your heart moves on to the rest of his life, much less when it happens twice in two years. But with their childhoods coming to an end, we get the chance to see how it worked. We get to evaluate the successes, the failures, the complications, and the joys that define their childhoods, and then we get to decide how to do it better in round two.

There are so many pieces to evaluate. The older two have had a typical suburban childhood ... public school, suburban neighborhoods, soccer teams, music lessons, boy scouts. Just like my childhood. Just like the childhood of everyone I've ever known (mostly). What does it look like to break out of that mold and dare to dream? What could be different? Be better?

We've fallen for the American Dream, and it feels more like the American Nightmare. Don't misunderstand, my teens have had a great childhood, and I've loved every minute of watching them become the men they are becoming. We're not done yet, but I have a glimpse everyday of the end result. They have turned out well. But in the wake of their childhoods, I see what we parents have become.

I've been tired for years. We struggle as many do with expectations that we have set to perform based on the lives we have created ... that we pay an incredible amount in bills for this complex life, that we work to a certain level without fail and without cutting ourselves any slack, that we interact with family and friends in a certain way to be liked, that we worship God by pushing ourselves to exhaustion under entirely misdirected motivation. I don't blame others for these expectations; we have placed them on ourselves in the pursuit of the American Dream. We place expectations on ourselves to be so "normal."

It is time to stop the spinning, and get off the ride. I have realized over the last few weeks that I've been trying to escape "normal" my entire life. The winds of change ...

So David and I are pursuing a new dream. While we attempt to ignore the expectations, we are redefining our own dream. Watch out world, or at least the little bit of the world that knows us, the adventure is starting anew.

It has been a while

I've seen that phrase on blogs so many times. We let our lives get so busy that we neglect the things that bring us joy, that de-stress our minds, and that allow us to share a bit of ourselves with our world. So ... it has been a while.

Motivated by some conversations today, and by a constant nagging in my mind to dump some of the random chaos and clutter that bogs me down, I'm back to blogging. I hope you'll read and find yourself encouraged to explore the closets of your own mind.

Some Thoughts as Holy Week Approaches

The contents of this blog entry are not my own original thoughts coming solely out of my own research. I've heard much of it from several sources, and have attempted to make some sense of it here. For those of you who have researched the topic yourselves, feel free to comment on anything that doesn't seem accurate. I just think that tradition sometimes blocks the path to truth ... and although the truth of the timing of holy week doesn't have significance in our ability to live in the heart of God's work, it does bring to light a sticky problem ... disaster can result when we take what people tell us at face value, regardless of how deeply rooted it is in the tradition of the church. I venture to say that we have it wrong when we take the traditional approach to Holy Week. If that is wrong, what other traditional "truths" are simply wrong. I wonder?

Thoughts as Holy Week approaches …


Scripture says (NIV quoted here)…


John 12:1 - 6 days before Passover, Jesus arrived at Bethany


John 12:12 - the next day (following John 12:1), Triumphal Entry


Matt 12:39-41 - Jesus speaking " … For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. ..."


Mark 14:12 - “On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, when it was customary to sacrifice the Passover lamb, Jesus’ disciples asked him, ‘Where do you want us to go and make preparations for you to eat the Passover?”


Mark 14:1-9 - Passover 2 days away, Jesus had dinner in Bethany with Simon the Leper and was anointed


John 19:31 - “Now it was the day of Preparation, and the next day was to be a special Sabbath. Because the Jews did not want the bodies left on the crosses during the Sabbath, they asked Pilot to have the legs broken and the bodies taken down.”


John 19:42 “Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.”


Luke 22:15-16 “And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God."

Traditional interpretation: This is the last Passover Jesus will eat with his disciples.

Alternate interpretation: It was his desire to spend this Passover with his disciples,but it will not be.


Luke 23:44-46 “It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining … he breathed his last."



History/Jewish Tradition says …

The 14th day of Nisan was the Day of Preparation for the Passover.

The Passover meal was eaten on the 15th day of Nisan, which began at sundown after the conclusion of the Day of Preparation. (Numbers 9:3 – Celebrate Passover at twilight on the 14 day of the month.)

The Jewish day began at sundown, and went until sundown the next day. So all that we consider night (after the sun goes down) was a part of the next day, not the previous day. Also, it was not split between the previous day (before midnight) and the next day (after midnight) as we do today.

The Passover meal was eaten after sundown at the completion of the Day of Preparation (which began at sundown the day before).

The Passover Lamb was slaughtered at the ninth hour on the Day of Preparation (only a few hours before sundown, when it was consumed as a part of the Passover meal.

Passover was considered a “special” Sabbath.

The ninth hour was about 3:00pm on the current time scale.

(See Article: http://www.rabbiyeshua.com/articles/2001/pesach.html for additional information)


Mapping it all out (working backward)


Sunday - Resurrected Jesus

Saturday - Sabbath - Jesus in Tomb

Friday - Jesus in Tomb

Thursday - Passover (“special” Sabbath) - Jesus in Tomb

Wednesday (after sundown) - Passover meal eaten

Wednesday (after 3:00pm, before sundown) - Jesus placed in tomb

Wednesday (3:00pm) - Passover lamb slaughtered - Jesus dies on the Cross

Wednesday (9:00am) - Jesus crucified

Wednesday (before 9:00am) - Jesus tried

Tuesday (in garden after Upper room) - Jesus arrested

Tuesday (at sundown) - Day of Preparation begins - Jesus in Upper Room with Disciples

Monday - Evening Meal in Bethany with Simon (Jesus anointed)

Sunday

Saturday - Sabbath - Triumphal Entry(Day after Jesus arrives in Bethany)

Friday - 6 Days before Passover - Jesus arrives in Bethany



Traditional Holy Week (working backward as above)


Sunday - Resurrected Jesus

Saturday - Sabbath - Jesus in Tomb

Friday - Passover - Jesus tried, crucified, dies, placed in tomb

Thursday - Passover begins - Jesus in Upper Room with Disciples, arrested

Wednesday

Tuesday - Teaches in temple, anointed in Bethany

Monday - Jesus curses fig tree/clears temple

Sunday - Triumphal Entry


Well ... thoughts?

Cinderella Syndrome

Cinderella ... a beautiful, sweet girl ... mistreated until someone notices her true worth, then raised to the status of princess to live "happily ever after". Snow White ... a beautiful, sweet girl ... mistreated until someone notices her true worth, then raised to the status of princess to live "happily ever after". Ariel from the Little Mermaid, Belle from Beauty and the Beast ... the list goes on and on, and the theme is the same. All these stories teach us as women an interesting lesson. If you persevere long enough through your trials, you will one day be noticed and applauded for who you are, and that recognition will be the thing that brings you to the point of living "happily ever after". What an unproductive and damaging moral to teach our little girls. How damaging that was for those of us who are now women trying to live under the shadow of such fantasy!

What if life is not designed as a direct trip to a "happily ever after" created by Prince Charming? The journey of life doesn't have a destination that is contained within this life. Maybe we will never truly feel appreciated for all that we are. Some will always be looking for that perfect someone who will rescue them from the turmoil of their lives. Why is the divorce rate so high? Why are so many people on anti-depressants? Why are we so selfish in our actions, living in a constant state of dissatisfaction? Because the illusive goal of being rescued and living forever happy looms over us from childhood.

Ladies, what if we embrace the difficulty? What if we learn to embrace that we can act in kindness and love and not have anyone constantly appreciate us in a way the elevates us to a permanently honored status? And what if we can do all this and journey through this life not thinking about what our reward will be, and when we will get it? I think that is where peace and happiness reside. It is the true and only definition of "happily ever after". When we find contentment in the imperfect journey, and move forward through it with light steps and peace in our hearts, then we have arrived without Prince Charming coming along to make it all perfect.

I choose to let my Prince Charming off the hook. He doesn't have to create "happily ever after" for me. I am the only one who can create that within myself. As a result, I choose to present to my prince a better, more stable, less self-centered, trustworthy, peaceful wife to accompany him on this life journey.

Freedom

I am a reader ... I read nearly everything I can get my hands on. I often have several books going at one time, many times multiple fiction books. Alongside those, there is the Bible (which I should have listed first because it is the only one that arouses a huge degree of "hunger" to know more). Often I have one or two non-fiction publications going as well. Crazy sometimes, but I love to learn and I love to read.

Most recently, I've been putting away the wisdom of Dr. Wayne Dyer. If you know him, you know that he certainly has a different spiritual center from mine, but I find his wisdom applicable regardless of my center on Christ. His thoughts are often very valid.

From "Your Sacred Self" I quote ...

Can you imagine living one complete day without thinking about yourself? Nothing offending you, nothing disturbing you, nothing causing you to be angry? Is it possible to see the world the way it is? Is it possible to be unconcerned with yourself in this picture?

Would you then be able to reach out and help others, to live, work and provide, unconcerned about the returns? Just try to imagine not thinking about yourself even once all day. Not once questioning why you are not appreciated enough, not wealthy enough, not being treated fairly enough.

You notice only that others do what they do, without comparing yourself with them. You give of yourself and ask and expect nothing in return. You simply live. You are free!

...

... when you are unconcerned about self-importance, you have freedom. You are on purpose, feel blissful, and expect the world to be a divine place where you love others. ... you are not obsessed with getting the credit of looking good in the eyes of anyone.

(end quote)

Imagine living like this. Jesus did. He lived to bring glory to his father ... to our Father God. He didn't look for credit, didn't say "why me?", didn't complain about not being appreciated, didn't get frustrated or angry or disappointed because of himself. He didn't expect anything of those around him, but took them as they were. His frustration, anger, disappointment, etc. were always pointing toward how people were not bringing glory to God. It wasn't about him. So, if we are to become more Christ-like and constantly pursue bringing glory of God, doesn't it make sense that we must seek the freedom from ourselves that Dr. Dyer talks about?

What are they waiting for?

I went to Walmart today. It is really one of my least favorite places to go, but the prices are best on so many items, therefore I find myself there on a regular basis. Today's visit was a little different. After doing a little research, and keeping up with the current news, I decided to return a jar of Jiffy peanut butter that I had gotten recently. It was unopened, but with all the recalls on peanut butter products these days, I decided not to take a chance.

As I explained this to the Customer Service rep (who, by the way, had no idea what I was talking about ... apparently doesn't spend much time researching current events), she scowled and told me that she wasn't worried. She said that if it was her time to die, it was her time to die, and that God had that under control. It was my turn to look at her like she was from another planet. And since, I've found myself so sad for people who are waiting for God to do something ... just waiting.

I've come to the point of believing that waiting for God to take action flies in the face of his will. You see, I think that he has already acted. He created me. He saved me when all was lost. He gave me all the instruction I need to live a life that is pleasing to him through scripture ... the Bible. And he gave me the Holy Spirit to teach me and help me understand his instruction. What more do I need? How could I be so vain as to expect more? He's already given me all I need. The rest is up to me.

Yes, if today is my day to die, it is my day. But what if "my day" is detemined not by some mystical twist orchestrated by God, but is instead determined by my own inability to use the resources God has given me to be WISE! What if my son's "day" is determined by my own ineptitude ... my own unwillingness to take hold of the wisdom God promises me and to use it for good in this life. No, I'm not God. I am God's creation and his daughter, and I choose to live as such.

So, I'll return potentially contaminated peanut butter, and I will hold my son's hand when we cross the street. I'll feed my family well, and spend my time teaching my sons everything I can even though God has not directed us through some mystical fashion to teach/learn those things. Why? Because I can. Because I'm empowered by the freedom of knowing what God expects of me. Because it is foolishness, not wisdom, that would lead me to sit back and wait.

Reduce/Reuse/Recycle

In our family, we try to follow the Reduce/Reuse/Recycle slogan in everything. It is an attempt to try to be less of a consumer, and show more care for this world God has given us. I look around sometimes and am so saddened by all the waste that I see in our society. How could we feel so privileged that we think it is not our responsibility to take care of our resources? Less privileged societies seem to have such a solid understanding of how precious everything is.

There are so many ways to cut back. Very little goes into the trash. The one area in which I want to go a step further is food trash ... composting. I'm hoping to start a compost pile this summer. I know the smell can be really awful, but there must be some way to do it so that our wasted food doesn't end up in a plastic bag in some landfill somewhere.

Every little scrap of paper goes into the paper recycle ... tags from purchases, little scraps I've used for notes, paper from around tea bags, etc. And those scraps for jotting things down are almost always cut from paper that has been printed on only one side (reused first). We have stopped using bottled water, and have reusable water bottles that we wash and refill (made from "safe" plastics :-) ) We've replaced all our bulbs with florescent, and turned the thermostat down to a cool 63 degrees. We did have it at 59 degrees, but found it very difficult to shake off colds when it was so chilly. I almost never turn on a light when the sun is up.

So, we've taken what I would consider the second-level steps toward taking care of our resources. There is so much more that we could do. It is just SO important ... I think about the world I have inherited from my parents and grandparents, and how it has changed for the worse. I can't imagine the world I am going to leave for my kids and grandkids. I know this process of deterioration is by design, leading to Jesus' return and the righting of everything. Until then, however, I feel such a responsibility to take care ... to be a good steward.

"Sometimes More is Just More"

Over the past few days, I've become aware of a documentary called "Simply Raw - Reversing Diabetes in 30 days". I've been hearing some remarkable things about the "experiment" to try and take 6 insulin-dependent diabetics off their meds and to a new level of health in 30 days by changing their diet to include only raw foods. I watched the trailer this morning, and felt such sadness (tears running down my cheeks) for a society gone high-tech, processed, wasteful ... totally lost from the simplicity for which God intended us. I am just as guilty as any of wanting the easy, most pleasurable way out in all circumstances. But is all this complication, all this layering that takes us so much "higher" really easier and more pleasurable? "Sometimes more is just more." (from the movie "Sabrina")

Crafting

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I like to craft things. I'm not an artist but a crafter. Nothing I do takes a serious level of skill or sight, but I'm good with my hands, and like to create things. What types of things? ANYTHING. It can be made of wood, wire, paper, beading, beeswax, leather, yarn, fabric ... doesn't matter to me as long as there is a little variety and it can't be undone after it is done. That's key ... that it stays done. So little in the process of caring for family and household stays done.

I have a friend who holds to this same point of view. We believe that every woman (and I believe it stands for men as well) needs a hobby that is completely her own. In my family, I share almost everything. My time, energy, resources, interest ... everything is available for my family at any time they are in need or want. The exception is crafting. I love to show them what I make (the kudos are nice), but they don't usually have any hand in the process. This is somewhat a reflection of the fact that I'm the only girl in the house ... our dog excepted ... but also shows that I have taken ownership of one thing. It is all mine. In this shared life, I need something that is all mine. I believe this to be true for everyone.

So, if you are one of the people who receives the hand-made items that make their way into your hands for Christmases and birthdays, you can know that the making of it was special to me.

Play

As I delve into "Life Is Not A Stress Rehearsal" once again, I'm confronted with the concept of play. The old addage "All work and no play makes Paula a very dull girl" rings loud and clear. I have become that "all work" person ... and I sure do wish I remembered how to play.

I used to laugh a lot. I used not to have these "frown lines" between my eyebrows. I used to have a sense of humor about myself. I used to be a lot less uptight about how I respond to things ... letting myself go with my gut response instead of weighing EVERYTHING before I speak or act. Self-control is important, but I seem to try to take it to an impossible level. Disaster.

My husband married someone who knew how to have fun, and now I feel like he is stuck with a way-too-serious me. I remember a time about 15 years ago, when the teenagers were toddlers, that I forgot how to have fun. It lasted for a few years while the weight of motherhood and the new reality of single-mothering set in. But after a while, I learned how to laugh and play again. I wonder if it is just this period in my life (toddlerhood/preschool years all over again) that makes me more serious. It is such an awesome responsibility to raise a child, and the young ones are so dependent. In truth, however, no matter how serious I take parenting, I need to remember how to play and laugh.

There used to be times at least once or twice a week when I would laugh so hard that tears would stream down my face. I cry when I truly laugh. It makes the funny even more ridiculous. Right now, I can't remember the last time I relaxed enough to cry while I laughed. What a sad confession!

So ... I'll be mulling over what things I like to play. I can't remember. Each day, I'm going to try to play, if only for a few minutes, until it becomes natural again. It will take some reminding for me to break this habit of seriousness, and possibly some times of unnatural laughter to remember how to laugh spontaneously, but I'm determined to stop taking myself so seriously!