Some Thoughts as Holy Week Approaches

The contents of this blog entry are not my own original thoughts coming solely out of my own research. I've heard much of it from several sources, and have attempted to make some sense of it here. For those of you who have researched the topic yourselves, feel free to comment on anything that doesn't seem accurate. I just think that tradition sometimes blocks the path to truth ... and although the truth of the timing of holy week doesn't have significance in our ability to live in the heart of God's work, it does bring to light a sticky problem ... disaster can result when we take what people tell us at face value, regardless of how deeply rooted it is in the tradition of the church. I venture to say that we have it wrong when we take the traditional approach to Holy Week. If that is wrong, what other traditional "truths" are simply wrong. I wonder?

Thoughts as Holy Week approaches …


Scripture says (NIV quoted here)…


John 12:1 - 6 days before Passover, Jesus arrived at Bethany


John 12:12 - the next day (following John 12:1), Triumphal Entry


Matt 12:39-41 - Jesus speaking " … For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. ..."


Mark 14:12 - “On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, when it was customary to sacrifice the Passover lamb, Jesus’ disciples asked him, ‘Where do you want us to go and make preparations for you to eat the Passover?”


Mark 14:1-9 - Passover 2 days away, Jesus had dinner in Bethany with Simon the Leper and was anointed


John 19:31 - “Now it was the day of Preparation, and the next day was to be a special Sabbath. Because the Jews did not want the bodies left on the crosses during the Sabbath, they asked Pilot to have the legs broken and the bodies taken down.”


John 19:42 “Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.”


Luke 22:15-16 “And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God."

Traditional interpretation: This is the last Passover Jesus will eat with his disciples.

Alternate interpretation: It was his desire to spend this Passover with his disciples,but it will not be.


Luke 23:44-46 “It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining … he breathed his last."



History/Jewish Tradition says …

The 14th day of Nisan was the Day of Preparation for the Passover.

The Passover meal was eaten on the 15th day of Nisan, which began at sundown after the conclusion of the Day of Preparation. (Numbers 9:3 – Celebrate Passover at twilight on the 14 day of the month.)

The Jewish day began at sundown, and went until sundown the next day. So all that we consider night (after the sun goes down) was a part of the next day, not the previous day. Also, it was not split between the previous day (before midnight) and the next day (after midnight) as we do today.

The Passover meal was eaten after sundown at the completion of the Day of Preparation (which began at sundown the day before).

The Passover Lamb was slaughtered at the ninth hour on the Day of Preparation (only a few hours before sundown, when it was consumed as a part of the Passover meal.

Passover was considered a “special” Sabbath.

The ninth hour was about 3:00pm on the current time scale.

(See Article: http://www.rabbiyeshua.com/articles/2001/pesach.html for additional information)


Mapping it all out (working backward)


Sunday - Resurrected Jesus

Saturday - Sabbath - Jesus in Tomb

Friday - Jesus in Tomb

Thursday - Passover (“special” Sabbath) - Jesus in Tomb

Wednesday (after sundown) - Passover meal eaten

Wednesday (after 3:00pm, before sundown) - Jesus placed in tomb

Wednesday (3:00pm) - Passover lamb slaughtered - Jesus dies on the Cross

Wednesday (9:00am) - Jesus crucified

Wednesday (before 9:00am) - Jesus tried

Tuesday (in garden after Upper room) - Jesus arrested

Tuesday (at sundown) - Day of Preparation begins - Jesus in Upper Room with Disciples

Monday - Evening Meal in Bethany with Simon (Jesus anointed)

Sunday

Saturday - Sabbath - Triumphal Entry(Day after Jesus arrives in Bethany)

Friday - 6 Days before Passover - Jesus arrives in Bethany



Traditional Holy Week (working backward as above)


Sunday - Resurrected Jesus

Saturday - Sabbath - Jesus in Tomb

Friday - Passover - Jesus tried, crucified, dies, placed in tomb

Thursday - Passover begins - Jesus in Upper Room with Disciples, arrested

Wednesday

Tuesday - Teaches in temple, anointed in Bethany

Monday - Jesus curses fig tree/clears temple

Sunday - Triumphal Entry


Well ... thoughts?

Cinderella Syndrome

Cinderella ... a beautiful, sweet girl ... mistreated until someone notices her true worth, then raised to the status of princess to live "happily ever after". Snow White ... a beautiful, sweet girl ... mistreated until someone notices her true worth, then raised to the status of princess to live "happily ever after". Ariel from the Little Mermaid, Belle from Beauty and the Beast ... the list goes on and on, and the theme is the same. All these stories teach us as women an interesting lesson. If you persevere long enough through your trials, you will one day be noticed and applauded for who you are, and that recognition will be the thing that brings you to the point of living "happily ever after". What an unproductive and damaging moral to teach our little girls. How damaging that was for those of us who are now women trying to live under the shadow of such fantasy!

What if life is not designed as a direct trip to a "happily ever after" created by Prince Charming? The journey of life doesn't have a destination that is contained within this life. Maybe we will never truly feel appreciated for all that we are. Some will always be looking for that perfect someone who will rescue them from the turmoil of their lives. Why is the divorce rate so high? Why are so many people on anti-depressants? Why are we so selfish in our actions, living in a constant state of dissatisfaction? Because the illusive goal of being rescued and living forever happy looms over us from childhood.

Ladies, what if we embrace the difficulty? What if we learn to embrace that we can act in kindness and love and not have anyone constantly appreciate us in a way the elevates us to a permanently honored status? And what if we can do all this and journey through this life not thinking about what our reward will be, and when we will get it? I think that is where peace and happiness reside. It is the true and only definition of "happily ever after". When we find contentment in the imperfect journey, and move forward through it with light steps and peace in our hearts, then we have arrived without Prince Charming coming along to make it all perfect.

I choose to let my Prince Charming off the hook. He doesn't have to create "happily ever after" for me. I am the only one who can create that within myself. As a result, I choose to present to my prince a better, more stable, less self-centered, trustworthy, peaceful wife to accompany him on this life journey.

Freedom

I am a reader ... I read nearly everything I can get my hands on. I often have several books going at one time, many times multiple fiction books. Alongside those, there is the Bible (which I should have listed first because it is the only one that arouses a huge degree of "hunger" to know more). Often I have one or two non-fiction publications going as well. Crazy sometimes, but I love to learn and I love to read.

Most recently, I've been putting away the wisdom of Dr. Wayne Dyer. If you know him, you know that he certainly has a different spiritual center from mine, but I find his wisdom applicable regardless of my center on Christ. His thoughts are often very valid.

From "Your Sacred Self" I quote ...

Can you imagine living one complete day without thinking about yourself? Nothing offending you, nothing disturbing you, nothing causing you to be angry? Is it possible to see the world the way it is? Is it possible to be unconcerned with yourself in this picture?

Would you then be able to reach out and help others, to live, work and provide, unconcerned about the returns? Just try to imagine not thinking about yourself even once all day. Not once questioning why you are not appreciated enough, not wealthy enough, not being treated fairly enough.

You notice only that others do what they do, without comparing yourself with them. You give of yourself and ask and expect nothing in return. You simply live. You are free!

...

... when you are unconcerned about self-importance, you have freedom. You are on purpose, feel blissful, and expect the world to be a divine place where you love others. ... you are not obsessed with getting the credit of looking good in the eyes of anyone.

(end quote)

Imagine living like this. Jesus did. He lived to bring glory to his father ... to our Father God. He didn't look for credit, didn't say "why me?", didn't complain about not being appreciated, didn't get frustrated or angry or disappointed because of himself. He didn't expect anything of those around him, but took them as they were. His frustration, anger, disappointment, etc. were always pointing toward how people were not bringing glory to God. It wasn't about him. So, if we are to become more Christ-like and constantly pursue bringing glory of God, doesn't it make sense that we must seek the freedom from ourselves that Dr. Dyer talks about?

What are they waiting for?

I went to Walmart today. It is really one of my least favorite places to go, but the prices are best on so many items, therefore I find myself there on a regular basis. Today's visit was a little different. After doing a little research, and keeping up with the current news, I decided to return a jar of Jiffy peanut butter that I had gotten recently. It was unopened, but with all the recalls on peanut butter products these days, I decided not to take a chance.

As I explained this to the Customer Service rep (who, by the way, had no idea what I was talking about ... apparently doesn't spend much time researching current events), she scowled and told me that she wasn't worried. She said that if it was her time to die, it was her time to die, and that God had that under control. It was my turn to look at her like she was from another planet. And since, I've found myself so sad for people who are waiting for God to do something ... just waiting.

I've come to the point of believing that waiting for God to take action flies in the face of his will. You see, I think that he has already acted. He created me. He saved me when all was lost. He gave me all the instruction I need to live a life that is pleasing to him through scripture ... the Bible. And he gave me the Holy Spirit to teach me and help me understand his instruction. What more do I need? How could I be so vain as to expect more? He's already given me all I need. The rest is up to me.

Yes, if today is my day to die, it is my day. But what if "my day" is detemined not by some mystical twist orchestrated by God, but is instead determined by my own inability to use the resources God has given me to be WISE! What if my son's "day" is determined by my own ineptitude ... my own unwillingness to take hold of the wisdom God promises me and to use it for good in this life. No, I'm not God. I am God's creation and his daughter, and I choose to live as such.

So, I'll return potentially contaminated peanut butter, and I will hold my son's hand when we cross the street. I'll feed my family well, and spend my time teaching my sons everything I can even though God has not directed us through some mystical fashion to teach/learn those things. Why? Because I can. Because I'm empowered by the freedom of knowing what God expects of me. Because it is foolishness, not wisdom, that would lead me to sit back and wait.

Reduce/Reuse/Recycle

In our family, we try to follow the Reduce/Reuse/Recycle slogan in everything. It is an attempt to try to be less of a consumer, and show more care for this world God has given us. I look around sometimes and am so saddened by all the waste that I see in our society. How could we feel so privileged that we think it is not our responsibility to take care of our resources? Less privileged societies seem to have such a solid understanding of how precious everything is.

There are so many ways to cut back. Very little goes into the trash. The one area in which I want to go a step further is food trash ... composting. I'm hoping to start a compost pile this summer. I know the smell can be really awful, but there must be some way to do it so that our wasted food doesn't end up in a plastic bag in some landfill somewhere.

Every little scrap of paper goes into the paper recycle ... tags from purchases, little scraps I've used for notes, paper from around tea bags, etc. And those scraps for jotting things down are almost always cut from paper that has been printed on only one side (reused first). We have stopped using bottled water, and have reusable water bottles that we wash and refill (made from "safe" plastics :-) ) We've replaced all our bulbs with florescent, and turned the thermostat down to a cool 63 degrees. We did have it at 59 degrees, but found it very difficult to shake off colds when it was so chilly. I almost never turn on a light when the sun is up.

So, we've taken what I would consider the second-level steps toward taking care of our resources. There is so much more that we could do. It is just SO important ... I think about the world I have inherited from my parents and grandparents, and how it has changed for the worse. I can't imagine the world I am going to leave for my kids and grandkids. I know this process of deterioration is by design, leading to Jesus' return and the righting of everything. Until then, however, I feel such a responsibility to take care ... to be a good steward.

"Sometimes More is Just More"

Over the past few days, I've become aware of a documentary called "Simply Raw - Reversing Diabetes in 30 days". I've been hearing some remarkable things about the "experiment" to try and take 6 insulin-dependent diabetics off their meds and to a new level of health in 30 days by changing their diet to include only raw foods. I watched the trailer this morning, and felt such sadness (tears running down my cheeks) for a society gone high-tech, processed, wasteful ... totally lost from the simplicity for which God intended us. I am just as guilty as any of wanting the easy, most pleasurable way out in all circumstances. But is all this complication, all this layering that takes us so much "higher" really easier and more pleasurable? "Sometimes more is just more." (from the movie "Sabrina")

Crafting

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I like to craft things. I'm not an artist but a crafter. Nothing I do takes a serious level of skill or sight, but I'm good with my hands, and like to create things. What types of things? ANYTHING. It can be made of wood, wire, paper, beading, beeswax, leather, yarn, fabric ... doesn't matter to me as long as there is a little variety and it can't be undone after it is done. That's key ... that it stays done. So little in the process of caring for family and household stays done.

I have a friend who holds to this same point of view. We believe that every woman (and I believe it stands for men as well) needs a hobby that is completely her own. In my family, I share almost everything. My time, energy, resources, interest ... everything is available for my family at any time they are in need or want. The exception is crafting. I love to show them what I make (the kudos are nice), but they don't usually have any hand in the process. This is somewhat a reflection of the fact that I'm the only girl in the house ... our dog excepted ... but also shows that I have taken ownership of one thing. It is all mine. In this shared life, I need something that is all mine. I believe this to be true for everyone.

So, if you are one of the people who receives the hand-made items that make their way into your hands for Christmases and birthdays, you can know that the making of it was special to me.

Play

As I delve into "Life Is Not A Stress Rehearsal" once again, I'm confronted with the concept of play. The old addage "All work and no play makes Paula a very dull girl" rings loud and clear. I have become that "all work" person ... and I sure do wish I remembered how to play.

I used to laugh a lot. I used not to have these "frown lines" between my eyebrows. I used to have a sense of humor about myself. I used to be a lot less uptight about how I respond to things ... letting myself go with my gut response instead of weighing EVERYTHING before I speak or act. Self-control is important, but I seem to try to take it to an impossible level. Disaster.

My husband married someone who knew how to have fun, and now I feel like he is stuck with a way-too-serious me. I remember a time about 15 years ago, when the teenagers were toddlers, that I forgot how to have fun. It lasted for a few years while the weight of motherhood and the new reality of single-mothering set in. But after a while, I learned how to laugh and play again. I wonder if it is just this period in my life (toddlerhood/preschool years all over again) that makes me more serious. It is such an awesome responsibility to raise a child, and the young ones are so dependent. In truth, however, no matter how serious I take parenting, I need to remember how to play and laugh.

There used to be times at least once or twice a week when I would laugh so hard that tears would stream down my face. I cry when I truly laugh. It makes the funny even more ridiculous. Right now, I can't remember the last time I relaxed enough to cry while I laughed. What a sad confession!

So ... I'll be mulling over what things I like to play. I can't remember. Each day, I'm going to try to play, if only for a few minutes, until it becomes natural again. It will take some reminding for me to break this habit of seriousness, and possibly some times of unnatural laughter to remember how to laugh spontaneously, but I'm determined to stop taking myself so seriously!

So Much To Do ... So Little Time ...

It seems that every day brings more for the "to do" list than was checked off yesterday. Does anyone ever catch up? Maybe it is one of the perils of being such an over-achiever, A-type, perfectionist kind of person that makes this phenomenon occur. It is just so hard sometimes to just let things go.

I think about the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible, when Jesus came to visit. I enter the same type of frantic preparation the Martha did. Only, she was preparing for Jesus. I'm often just preparing for my family to come home from work/school. I try to remember what Jesus said to Martha ... that Mary's way was the better way. Was he trying to say that relationship, not only with God but also with fellow man, should be the priority? Staying focused on relationship is a little hard when expectations for clean clothes, cooked food, and minimal household clutter loom. I don't mean to say that my family has unrealistic expectations. These tasks fall squarely in the definition of my job. My husband works out in the world and takes care of so many things at home, the teenagers' work is as students, the preschooler's work is constant learning through play, and my work is to be wife/mom/homemaker. But making a home is so continuous ... nothing ever gets done and stays done. It is all to do again tomorrow.

So ... if there is anything unique, interesting, challenging, or special that finds its way onto my "to do" list, it is difficult to get it done for all the everyday stuff. Or, I do those things, and the everyday stuff falls to the side. The "to do" list just grows. Of course, I should consider the amount of time it takes to blog. I could be cleaning the bathroom!

Anyway, as my "to do" list grows, and my expectations of myself become increasingly unrealistic, I remember the tearful confession of a friend of mine. Life is like a plate full of peas. I spend all my time trying to keep my peas on the plate, as they do their very best to roll off. Put too many peas on my plate, and I can't possibly keep them there. I remember, at a more peaceful time in my life, suggesting to her that she just let the peas fall. She said, "I can't." Maybe it is time for me to take my own advice. Is it ever okay to just let the peas fall?

Breathing

For years now, I've been a yoga wannabe. You know, one of those people who has all the props to go with a lot of head knowledge, but doesn't seem to make practice a priority. I think there are a lot of golfers out there who would understand. But there is one interesting part of yoga that requires a different type of practice ... breathing. About a year ago I discovered that I hadn't taken a deep breath in about a decade. Perhaps that seems impossible, but the lower 2/3's of my lungs were getting very little use. I would wake in the morning often to pain with my first breath, which indicated that I hadn't taken a real breath for hours. I've had to teach myself to breathe all over again, and I'm finding it a slow road still.

Holding my breath seems so much more natural. When I first started reading yoga websites and books, they talked about taking a deep breath by counting to five on the inhale, and again on the exhale. It took weeks before I could actually make my inhale as long as my exhale. Crazy! When did I stop breathing?

So, if you are reading this ... breathe! Stop, close your eyes, think only about breathing, count to five as you breathe in, and again as you breathe out. Just breathe!

Stress-a-holic

I'm a stress-a-holic. Whew! I really needed to get that out there. Crazy to thrive on stress, but I do. I'm not sure I know how to function without placing myself under all kinds of crazy stress. I make up things to stress about when all is calm, not external things, but internal. Guilt seems to be the greatest source of stress for me. If you read the "Raw Vegan" blog, you'll understand that I'm having to fight feeling guilt about all the trash I've fed my family over the years, and all that I will feed them in the future. I feel guilty when I say "no" to someone who asks me a favor ... as if I should never put my own plans, desires, or needs first. I feel guilty when I don't get the laundry done. I feel guilty when someone in my family has to move something of mine that is in the way. Guilty when I don't call my mom (and I love talking with my mom!) ... guilty when I don't take the trash out before someone else has to ... guilty when my husband is working around the house (or at his job), and I'm "sitting around" doing something that I want to do instead of something I need to do ... guilty when my desire to craft something doesn't result in something useful or gift-worthy. Guilty ... guilty ... guilty. And all that guilt causes stress.

I am reading an interesting "self-help" book (for those of you who know me, don't go into shock ... I am still totally opposed to "self-help" books) called "Life is Not a Stress Rehearsal". The author talks about how we no longer look at the world as a source of wonder, and life as a chance for joy, and instead see only the demands for our resources, which leads to total burnout. The end result for me is that I look toward those things that should bring joy and pleasure, and I dread them ... they are just another thing on the list of things that I must do today. As she says, "Let's face it, trying to be "the best that you can be' is exhausting." Carrying the burden of guilt for my shortcomings is equally exhausting. So maybe my total lack of energy is a symptom of not only a lousy diet, but also of the stress of a heavy load of guilt.

The thing is ... I only feel guilty because I'm not meeting my own expectations of myself. Taking a step back leads me to the fact that I have totally unreasonable expectations of perfection. And let's not leave out the fact that I'm a people pleaser, because dissatisfied people can (and often do) cause me pain. Perfectionism leads to another conclusion that is grounded in pride. Pride leads to perfectionism, which leads to unrealistic expectations, which lead to disappointment in myself, which leads to guilt, which leads to stress, which leads to exhaustion ... constant exhaustion. Sometimes it is nice to get to the bottom of things!

The solution ... well, if I knew that, there would be no need to deposit this bit of random chaos and clutter here, now would there?

Raw Vegan

I've been doing a lot of food research lately. There is a movement called "Raw Vegan" that is gaining speed all over. I've been a vegetarian for about a year, and have found that my body responds much better to my meatless existence. Vegetarian for me is completely without meat ... no beef, pork, chicken, fish, or any other animal you might think of eating. With the lack of meat, however, comes the interesting challenge of ENERGY. It is difficult to maintain energy and strength without the big protein boosts. I've followed all of the suggestions, but find that I'm still tired all the time, and have very little extra energy to do anything beyond all that is required as a wife and mom. It is the family joke that I don't ever see any of the movies we watch as a family. I'm asleep within the first 10 minutes ... just always exhausted.

So, in this second year of vegetarianism, I'm looking to the next level. Dairy seems to be an energy-sapper, as does processed food. And of late, I've found lots of people talking about cooking and how heating damages the food I eat and its ability to provide fuel for my body. Moving back in history, maybe the people who walked thru the field/garden and ate off the vine/bush/plant had the right idea. You'll see the post "Raw Food Passion" to the right. Take a look at how beautiful April's food is, and read her story. Her blog can lead you down the proverbial wormhole of the Internet to dozens of testimonials. Raw Food! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find truly raw food? That knocks out all bread ... a great disappointment to me.

The question becomes ... how do I pursue the best eating habits for myself, while feeding a family of four "men" (well, one man, two teens, and a preschooler) who insist that the world of meat, dairy, and junk food is the world for them? I've come up with a small concession and possible first step. As I have done for the past year, the meals will still be the kind that they love, but now the side dishes (vegetables and fruits) will be mostly raw. I'll fill the gap in my diet with a smoothie mid-day that contains extra protein and raw fruits/vegetables. They will eat a little bit healthier, and I'll take a step toward slowing down time's impact on my body. The pace may be slow, but perhaps over time we will move toward healthier lives.

Where did all the human beings go?

What a crazy world we live in ... I've said it a million times. Lately, I've been trying to understand just what makes it so crazy. I think it can all be boiled down to a lack of humanness. We see celebs and the rich and famous going all out for "humanitarian efforts", but I don't even know the names of my neighbors. It makes me sad when I walk into the grocery, pass someone, and they won't even acknowledge that they have come within a few feet of another human being. We're all suffering here, trying to get from one day to the next without it all falling apart and becoming meaningless. And I must lump myself into the "all", knowing that it is such a frightening thing to put yourself out there and allow yourself to be emotionally touched. Worse is to reach out and find the reception cold. We're all so lonely in this world. Have you seen the emptiness in people's eyes? I wonder at those who know Christ, and still feel such emptiness. Why? I think that God created us for interaction and interdependence. But it has become such a stigma to NEED anyone or anything ... except maybe coffee! What if we were all a little more needy? What if my focus today was reaching out to someone in need? I'm not talking about the person on the corner who is beggin for money. That is a different kind of need. I'm talking about my sons, when they've had a bad day but don't want to show it. It isn't "cool" for a teenager to be effected anymore. Truly, it isn't "cool" for any of us to feel anymore. My question is ... where did all the human beings go? Emotion is a part of our humanness. It is time we used emotion to bring glory to the God who created us.

I'm ready to give this reconnecting thing a try, but there is a flaw. I've always carried my emotions close to the surface. You can hurt me. Anyone can hurt me. I don't like admitting the fragile side, because strength has always been a virtue for me. Maybe weakness, a point where hurt can enter, is not, however, "weakness". Maybe, just maybe, real strength comes from putting the weakness forward, getting slammed over and over again, and being able to keep it all in perspective. Maybe that is true strength. And perhaps the way to keep it all in perspective is to trust in the wisdom God promises ... wise responses to the growth of relationships.

It all sounds good here ... Courage!